Thursday, November 18, 2010

this is my favorite pun

a kid is watching tv and sees a man being sentenced to 20 years hard labor on some beautiful pacific island.
"dad", he says, "what'd that guy do to spend so much time in jail?"

"Well son," says the man, "it all started out like this.

That man is Dr Franklin, a world renown genetic engineer. He has a lab out in the pacific, on some crazy little island country where they don't give him trouble about stem cells. It's an interesting little island, ruled by a dwarf king. The king's a nice enough guy, but he's got a real napoleon complex. He's even got a mangy old pet lion he lets roam around, because it makes him feel tough. Actually, he's got such a weak grasp on power there that in order to keep the people from revolting when he showed up with the lion (they all thought it was dangerous), he had to tell them that they could legally kill it if they ever had to.
Anyway, Dr. Franklin was working with a bunch of dolphin research subjects, because even on this crazy little island, you can't go around performing experiments on people. He was working on keeping the dolphins from ever aging, and was doing a pretty good job. The only thing wrong with them at the moment was that they needed a specific enzyme that they couldn't produce, and the Dr. Franklin could only get from seabird eggs, less than a day before the eggs hatch.

Unfortunately, on this particular day, Franklin's lab monkey knocked over the rack of eggs kept in the lab, and they shattered all over the floor. So, in order to keep from losing his life's work, Dr. Franklin jumped in his truck and hauled ass across the island to where the local sea bird population roosts, on the other side of the island. He makes it there and runs around the cliffs, picking up eggs and listening to them, trying to find ones that are just about to hatch. Once he'd gathered about 20, he tossed tehm in a crate in his car and started driving home, quickly but carefully, so as not to crack the eggs.

Well, about half way back, the eggs start hatching left and right, I guess teh vibration in the car or the change in temperature triggered them, but Dr. Franklin flips out and floors it, screaming down the road to make it home in time to extract the enzyme from a few of the eggs before they hatch. Almost home, he slides his truck around a corner and just FLATTENS the king's lion, which happened to be standing in the middle of the road. The truck was trashed, the eggs all smashed, and about 10 minutes later the constable and the king showed up and took Dr Franklin away."

"But dad, didn't you say that it was legal for people to kill the lion if they had to? what did they get Dr. Franklin for?"

"Well son, it may be legal to kill a lion, but it's still against the law to transport young gulls across a state lion for immortal porpoises"

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